For laughs I thought I’d check out some information about my horoscope.. my birthday is coming up and all…

You really have to laugh at astrology. Especially coming from an actual science background like I do…

First of all, I just found out there’s a phenomenon called the ‘procession of equinoxes’ and basically it means the whole constellation thing… has been shifting around for the past 1000 years and all our ‘signs’ are totally all boxed out of whack. So all these years I thought I was born under the sign of Aries.. when in fact it was Pisces all along. (Stupid Astrologists.)

Well crap. Now what?

Aries is all fire and spit and vinegar… the ram thing.
Where Pisces is a water sign… all sensitive to animals and suffering, a fish.

I never could swim well. And once you start reading through the fluff ..readings of astrologers… at least I fit a WHOLE lot closer to the Aries characteristics than the Fishy ones?

ARIES
You are a go-getter. You are head-strong and sometimes even impulsive. Your ambition leads you to new ideas and goals. Your energy and enthusiasm is great, however you can also be quite blunt at times (WHO ME??)

You are also known for your directness. Issues are generally black and white to you, and once you decide on something, you stick to it, proclaiming the strength of your position in no uncertain terms.
(I thought that was the definition of  ‘BLOGGER’).

On the negative side of ARIES…

“You believe that when something needs to be done, it should be done right away, in a certain way, and you can’t understand why anyone should be slow or difficult about it. You’ll end up doing the job yourself if you feel others aren’t holding up their end.”
(All I can say is.. AMEN. I don’t call that negative, I call that EFFICIENT!)

PISCES
It is difficult for you to notice the suffering of others, including animals. Upon noticing, you can also be fairly emotional in sight of such suffering. You are sympathetic to those in distress, especially animals and children, and you also have a desire to help them.  (blah blah blah)

(I realize these things are written with a lot of generalities.. but except for the part where I seriously cry during EVERY single movie I EVER watch.. there isn’t a lot here that fits with me. I totally wish I were more imaginative.. gullible? Sometimes.. isn’t everyone? Sorry my fishy friends… )

A couple negatives for PISCES
You have a hard time making up your mind about anything.
(Yeah.. SO very NOT me. I tend to make a decision and stick with it til blood flows…)

The slightest out-of-earshot whisper or behind-the-back rumor will floor you.
(Again.. NOT me… I always say, I was raised with 9 other siblings, there’s pretty much nothing that will truly offend me. Go ahead try me.)

So there you have it. I totally proved that I am for sure, absolutely NOT a fish. (Whew!)
I find the whole astrology thing more a study in generalities.. and born under the sign of Aries-Smaires or Dolphin… whatever.
Every time I read through stuff like this half the signs seem like a good fit, oh look I’m upset today.. that makes me an Aquarious!
We should make our own up….

Maybe google can find some ‘fake’ astrology for us… or at least humorous??

Yeah, here’s one… from Astrology Weekly.

and another

From appropriately named: Hilarioscope.

I did find possibly a more funny one.. but it had some ahem… language in it.. I better not share that one. Sorry.

(Photos: PhotoXpress.com)

What do you want for your birthday this year?

Me? I was getting really excited as I’d been saving up for this…

What I got instead was THIS!

Congratulations you’ve just purchased… Traffic School.

Happy Birthday to you too Mr. Grrr.

My birthday is later this week. I had been getting really excited about a real office desk for a change.  Sigh.

Part of why I’m so upset is that I was only going 4 miles over.
Seriously I’m being pulled over for WHAT?

He walks up to me and says, you were going 59 in a 45mph zone. What? How can that be when it’s practically a rural road? I had just turned from a 55mph highway to what really is a larger road in fact? How did the speed limit go DOWN I want to know…. He made it very clear to me that it’s been 45mph all the way out to HERE for 10 years now. No help that I’ve basically just moved here and live 75 miles away from this ticket heavy spot…

Puppy dog eyes did not help. Mentioning that I really really really thought it was a normal speed limit area… did not help. Kinda seemed like the end of his shift and he just really really wanted to go home, and my 4mph (okay 19) overage was just the ticket to get him to the end of his shift. Sheesh.

A couple years ago I wrote a short series of my birthday wishes… and what I was REALLY getting… see if you like them?
Hint: Part 1 is about a lovely black leather… purse… and a DIY toilet…

This, and this were also on my list.

I’ll be too busy at traffic school to enjoy my real bday.

Photo by Doug Wertman

I would truly love a set of these:
And of course if I have those I will need a new pair of these:

But you understand by now… all I’m really getting this year is…..

Picture curtesy of Xenia.com.br from morguefiles.com

Isn’t it nice? It’s just what I’ve always wanted. And really it costs very little to obtain. For the person who’s hard to shop for? The perfect gift.

This, this, and this are also on my list.

I am drooling over this:

Woul you like to see what I’m getting instead?

NOTHING.

My Point and Shoot camera works just fine (my husband keeps reminding me), but the more I learn about Photography and Photoshop, the more I REALLY REALLY need a DSLR.

I’m also dreaming about a couple other things.

I would Oh So Much like to spend an afternoon in worship at my favorite local spa.

A facial would be lovely.

But…what am I actually getting? Glad you asked.

Miracle Whip Exfoliator, what else?

No one was harmed in the masking of this woman.

See all of my birthday wishes!

Photo Credits:

Julies Journal

DiamondDuste

The Sak Signature Leather Slouchy Satchel

NOTE it does NOT come with the toilet seat.
That’s extra.

If anyone knows of a MUCH better price for this purse PLEASE share it with me! If anyone knows of a better price on the other, buy it yer dang self!