What I Learned From The #MormonMuslimMoms Conversation

2013 December 22

See the Good in Others…



muslim woman in head scarf hijab islamic mom

This is Amanda in hijab (head scarf).

Today in the mall I saw a woman… about the age of my mother with a scarf around her head and neck and I looked at her and thought: she CHOOSES to wear that. She is BRAVE to wear it. And I have no judgments or bias directed at her. She is living her religion and that’s all.

I don’t think I had mean thoughts before, don’t get me wrong. But seriously I had this near-spiritual moment today where I looked at her with love and realized… my own religious bias was in fact keeping me from seeing HER. I might have thought before, wow, I would hate to be forced to wear a head scarf like that.

And yet, here I hate when people judge me for my decisions.
Or assume I’m being forced to act or dress or respond the way I do.
I make my own decisions every day.

Is it really that hard to believe another woman walking in the mall in North Carolina is making decisions (religious and otherwise) for herself, and no one is forcing her to openly live her religion?


…And remember to see the good in yourself too.

see the good in yourself graphic from Kirstiedesigns

Something else I learned a little more painfully this time is that the people who likely most hate the way you chose to live your life just might be the same people who once lived their life the same way you currently do.

I don’t understand why, but people who are former members of the LDS church at least in my experience are also the most likely to hate me for living the Religion I choose. I don’t hate them? In fact I don’t really have an opinion about how they live their lives. It’s okay with me if they leave the church.

Amanda’s website was shut down for a couple days after my 3rd post ran on her site. The server simply was overloaded with thousands of hits. I hope more people with a positive reason for reading that post read it than all the negative folks? But I don’t know.

Overall there was an awesome positive response from hundreds of people both as we shared our beliefs on each other’s sites as well as on our social media channels. I figured if the conversations I was having with Amanda were half as interesting to others as they were to me, it was worth it!

Quoting Amanda talking about raising her two little boys:

“The bottom line is, I can’t change the world but I can raise two boys, who grow up to be men proud of their faith and identity, secure in who they are as human beings on Earth. Men who respect and understand all people no matter where they were born, the languages they speak, or the holidays they celebrate. I will raise them to be the kind of Muslim men that will show the world love, peace, and compassion. The men who hold open doors and smile at babies. Who greet everyone they meet with a hello smile. Who strive to do good in this world and create a different reality for the people they meet. That’s what I can do, and that’s the legacy I will raise my boys to uphold.”—Amanda Mouttaki

I say as moms who choose to raise our kids with open hearts and open minds while living the religion they are raised in, we ARE changing the world!


  • I would love to hear something you learned from this series of posts (both from Amanda’s Muslim Mom posts on my site, and from my Mormon Mom posts on her site)?
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One Response
  1. December 22, 2013

    I really enjoyed this series and I thank you both for doing it. I have to admit, I was very interested in reading your posts especially. My brother-in-law married a Mormon and converted. Since my father-in-law is a Lutheran pastor, it caused a huge stink. Before reading your posts, I didn’t really know much about the Mormon faith. I found it interesting how much your beliefs are like the mainstream Christian faith. (I was surprised by the similarities with the Muslim faith as well.) I learned so much about both religions and am glad both you and Amanda decided to do the series.

    I hope you and your family have a wonderful Christmas Carissa!
    Twitter: aheartfull

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